Living with in-laws while waiting for BTO, tension building. How to cope?

Lived with in-laws for 3 years waiting for our flat, so I've been in the trenches. What kept the peace: first, your husband must be the one to raise things with his own parents, not you, this is non-negotiable and prevents you becoming the villain. Second, contribute clearly and visibly, a fixed monthly amount for household expenses and taking on specific chores, so gratitude isn't in question and you have standing. Third, carve out couple space, we made it a rule to go out just the two of us weekly so the relationship didn't get swallowed by the household. On parenting differences, pick your battles, safety and health you hold firm (via your husband), but "grandma gives one extra biscuit" you let go. And create small pockets of autonomy, we took over one meal a week to cook our own way, and kept our bedroom as our sanctuary. It's genuinely hard and you're not ungrateful for feeling drained, sharing a home with anyone for years is tough. Countdown to your BTO and protect your marriage in the meantime.