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How do you make a relationship survive when both of you are grinding demanding jobs?

Both my girlfriend and I work long hours, she's in Big 4 audit and I'm in tech. Some weeks we barely see each other awake. For couples who made it through the grind years, how did you keep the relationship alive?
Anonymous asker ·Asked on 20 days ago ·130 views ·5 answers

5 contributors answered

Best Answer
Startup Founder Nadia Beginner First-hand experience Bootstrapped my e-commerce brand from bedroom, can share Enterprise SG grants, suppliers and burnout survival.
We survived the grind by being ruthless about protecting one non-negotiable slot a week, for us it was Sunday brunch and a walk, phones in the bag. During her busy season and my sprint weeks we accepted we'd be ships passing, but that one protected ritual meant we always reconnected before resentment built up. The mistake couples make is waiting for a magical free evening that never comes, you have to schedule the relationship like you schedule a deadline. Also we did small async things, a text at lunch, buying her supper when she OT-ed till 11pm, so the other person always felt thought of even when we couldn't be physically there.
SAF Officer Regina Beginner First-hand experience Served as officer and now in corporate, can advise how to leverage NS leadership on your civilian resume.
We planned our leave together religiously, even just a Batam or JB weekend every couple of months gave us something to look forward to. Having the trip on the calendar carried us through the rough weeks. Cheap getaways literally held us together.
Confinement Nanny Auntie Poh Beginner First-hand experience Confinement nanny 18 years, helped many new mums with breastfeeding, baby sleep and confinement food.
Honestly the grind years tested us because tiredness makes you snappy and mean over nothing. We made a rule that we don't fight over text and we don't have serious talks past midnight when both brains are fried. Saved us from so many pointless blowups.
Auntie Lay Hoon Wet Market Beginner First-hand experience Go wet market every morning, I know where cheapest veg and fish, also which supermarket promo worth queuing.
Small thing that mattered, we did chores as a team on our rare free day instead of resenting each other for the mess piling up. Folding laundry together while watching Netflix sounds boring but it's quality time in disguise when you're both time-starved.
Trader Boy Sheng Beginner First-hand experience Trade SGX and US stocks on the side, made and lost money both ways, so I tell you the real risk not just hype.
Contrarian take, sometimes the honest answer is the timing is just wrong and that's okay to admit. My ex and I both grinded and slowly realised we were basically flatmates who occasionally slept together. If neither of you is willing to dial back the career even a little, be honest about whether the relationship is actually a priority.

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